… Is being intelligent enough to read the way the girl responds when you talk to her.
This morning I checked my old AOL e-mail account and found this message waiting for me:
Subj: Please Reply
Date: 9/28/2004 1:24:43 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Zed Antillies
To: KaraWegener@aol.com
Dear Kara,
If you don't reply by the end of October, I'll have to break off the relationship, and start looking for a female companion elsewhere.
-The guy at the 4-H camp dance
Cyril was a Russian Arminian (not Armenian) high school junior who tried to pick me up at a 4-H dance this summer. Even though he wasn’t even supposed to know my last name, much less my contact information, somehow he managed to find all off them and proceeded to call my home frequently. Those phone calls were painful. Cyril and I have nothing in common - not our ages, grades, theology, nationalities, interests or personality traits. So with nothing else to talk about I spent the whole time trying to figure out how to end the call while making faces at my sister who was literally collapsing with silent mirth, while Cyril talked about Legos. Yeah.
Now here’s the thing. I wouldn’t mind talking about Legos with a guy I really liked. I’d probably even enjoy it.
Before you guys despair entirely of the female sex, let me give you a few tips.
Women really like to be chased. This is a good thing, as it is in the nature of men to need an object to pursue. We like to make guys we really like to try a bit to win our hand. That said, we also really like to be caught eventually.
Women do not like to be stalked. Relentlessly being pursued by a guy in whom we have no interest makes us feel frustrated and vulnerable.
Where’s the line? The line can only be seen by watching and listening to how she responds. I know this is hard for many men because, as Dad and Andrew keep reminding me, the vast majority of men are really dense when it comes to women. So basically:
Girls (generally) like the attentions you’re paying when
They look straight at you
They honestly pay attention to what you’re saying
They become animated in conversation (not in argument)
Their eyes light up when you talk to them
They remember your name (and lots of other small things about you)
Girls (generally) are trying to get you to leave them alone when
They repeatedly look away during conversations or allow unnecessarily long pauses over phone conversations.
They show no interest in your interests or even small talk
Their only animation comes during argument
Their faces show annoyance or panic when you approach
They forget (or pretend to forget) your name. That’s a really big hint there.
These observations come in handy not only when you are trying to win the heart of a girl, but also in realizing when you are sending the wrong message and need to back off a bit. Some girls understand the concept of “just friends” better than others.
Never forget that men and women are two hugely different beings. Equal and complementary, but different. This is how God created us, so embrace the fact. Being a woman is a beautiful thing, and being a real man is a thing of great honor. God does not make mistakes.
To finish the story of Cyril, finally his calls became so annoying that I stopped answering the phone all together, but rather had my siblings tell Cyril I was “unavailable.” When he didn’t get that hint, my sister Kristen told him flat out that I wasn’t interested in him. A couple minutes after she hung up he called back, hoping to get someone else on the phone. Dad answered and got to yell at him with out whole family and several extended family members gathered around. So his e-mail was not only bizarre but rather amusing. But maybe ya’ll can understand why I’m trying really hard with the guys up here not to let them become Cyril II, Cyril III, Cyril IV, Cyril V…
This morning I checked my old AOL e-mail account and found this message waiting for me:
Subj: Please Reply
Date: 9/28/2004 1:24:43 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Zed Antillies
To: KaraWegener@aol.com
Dear Kara,
If you don't reply by the end of October, I'll have to break off the relationship, and start looking for a female companion elsewhere.
-The guy at the 4-H camp dance
Cyril was a Russian Arminian (not Armenian) high school junior who tried to pick me up at a 4-H dance this summer. Even though he wasn’t even supposed to know my last name, much less my contact information, somehow he managed to find all off them and proceeded to call my home frequently. Those phone calls were painful. Cyril and I have nothing in common - not our ages, grades, theology, nationalities, interests or personality traits. So with nothing else to talk about I spent the whole time trying to figure out how to end the call while making faces at my sister who was literally collapsing with silent mirth, while Cyril talked about Legos. Yeah.
Now here’s the thing. I wouldn’t mind talking about Legos with a guy I really liked. I’d probably even enjoy it.
Before you guys despair entirely of the female sex, let me give you a few tips.
Women really like to be chased. This is a good thing, as it is in the nature of men to need an object to pursue. We like to make guys we really like to try a bit to win our hand. That said, we also really like to be caught eventually.
Women do not like to be stalked. Relentlessly being pursued by a guy in whom we have no interest makes us feel frustrated and vulnerable.
Where’s the line? The line can only be seen by watching and listening to how she responds. I know this is hard for many men because, as Dad and Andrew keep reminding me, the vast majority of men are really dense when it comes to women. So basically:
Girls (generally) like the attentions you’re paying when
They look straight at you
They honestly pay attention to what you’re saying
They become animated in conversation (not in argument)
Their eyes light up when you talk to them
They remember your name (and lots of other small things about you)
Girls (generally) are trying to get you to leave them alone when
They repeatedly look away during conversations or allow unnecessarily long pauses over phone conversations.
They show no interest in your interests or even small talk
Their only animation comes during argument
Their faces show annoyance or panic when you approach
They forget (or pretend to forget) your name. That’s a really big hint there.
These observations come in handy not only when you are trying to win the heart of a girl, but also in realizing when you are sending the wrong message and need to back off a bit. Some girls understand the concept of “just friends” better than others.
Never forget that men and women are two hugely different beings. Equal and complementary, but different. This is how God created us, so embrace the fact. Being a woman is a beautiful thing, and being a real man is a thing of great honor. God does not make mistakes.
To finish the story of Cyril, finally his calls became so annoying that I stopped answering the phone all together, but rather had my siblings tell Cyril I was “unavailable.” When he didn’t get that hint, my sister Kristen told him flat out that I wasn’t interested in him. A couple minutes after she hung up he called back, hoping to get someone else on the phone. Dad answered and got to yell at him with out whole family and several extended family members gathered around. So his e-mail was not only bizarre but rather amusing. But maybe ya’ll can understand why I’m trying really hard with the guys up here not to let them become Cyril II, Cyril III, Cyril IV, Cyril V…
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